Preparing

Just a few more days until I'm playing at the Caterpalooza music festival!

In other words, a few more days to learn a few more songs to decrease stalling between songs!

It could work...

Woke up with an interesting idea for a social experiment/performance art thing. Picture me, in a park or on a street corner, with the Blue Hotness, next to a sign that reads "WILL ROCK FOR PUSSY".

Success and other fun stuff

So I played the new stab oriented song, now officially entitled "Use A Real One", along with the still untitled atheism song (title ideas, anyone?) at open mic night tonight. A few highlights:

• An old lady stepped in front of me right as Jen announced sign up time. I had to wait a good 4 or 5 seconds to rush over to the sign up table. As a result, I only barely made it on the list. 
• Throughout the night, multiple people were happy to hear that I was in fact playing tonight. While I hope this has something to do with the quality of my songs, I think it's more indicative of me becoming part of a scene, which is neat. 
• Jen commented on how comfortable I've become on stage, which is awesome because I was not at all comfortable. By the time I was on the crowd had gotten really small, which makes me feel on the spot and rushed. 
• Did not fuck up the new song as badly as I thought I would; or more accurately, I fucked up in ways different than I expected, and that I'm more ok with.

Uhm, that's all. Goodnight!

Reunited, and it feels so good

While practicing my already written songs, which itself is kind of a big deal for me, I decided to play Negative Attention, a song I've been ignoring for a while. Compared to my other songs, that one always seemed like an amaturish attempt, but I think I like it again now. One more song to play at the Caterpalooza show, if nothing else!

Fixation/real knife song take 3: MUSIC!

Nothing I can really type here (at least not in an interesting way), but I've finally gotten the Blue Hottness involved with this one, and we've worked out some chords and a melody. It's shakey, but we'll get there.

And hey, guess what? You know how good guitar players move the fingers on the left hand a lot? Like more than just at the chord changes? There will be some of that in this song!

Fixation/real knife song take 2: second draft

Slight revisions, some additions, and verse/chorus/bridge structure. I think it may need a bit more work, but I like where it's going. Also, some title ideas: Use A Real One, Just Do It Already, Release Me.

I know you're not obligated
Even so I feel entitled
I want to see you
But I don't want to see you
I want to tell you nothing has changed
But I know that nothing has changed
I have no right to pissed
But this pain deserves a response

If you're gonna stab me, use a real knife
That would be more loving
Tell me how much you care as you twist the handle
Say that you love me while you listen to my death rattle

They say time heals all wounds
But this one is festering
I want to move on
But I can't get over it
I want to tell you how bad I feel
But I don't want to make you feel bad
I've no desire to hurt you
Though I can't deny the appeal

If you're gonna hurt me, do it for real
Finish what you started
Take responsibility
For what you're doing to me
If you're gonna stab me, use a real knife
That would be more loving
Tell me how much you care as you twist the handle
Hold me in your arms as I bleed out


A stab in the back as you flaunt your love life
Slitting my throat with your giddiness
Fuck this, it's your loss!
Who am I kidding?
You seem fine and I hate you for it

If you're gonna stab me, use a real knife
That would be more loving
Tell me how much you care as you twist the handle
Say that you love me while you listen to my death rattle

fixation/real knife song take 1: the brainstorm

I know you're not obligated
Even so I feel entitled
I want to see you
But I don't want to see you
I want to tell you nothing has changed
But I know that nothing has changed
I have no right to pissed
But this pain deserves a response

If you're gonna stab me, use a real knife
That would be more loving
Tell me how much you care as you twist the handle
Say you love me while you hear my death rattle

They say time heals all wounds
But this one is festering
I want to move on
But I can't get over it
I want to tell you how bad I feel
But I don't want to make you feel bad
I've no desire to hurt you
Though I can't deny the appeal

A stab in the back as you flaunt your love life
Slitting my throat with your giddiness
Fuck this, it's your loss!
Who am I kidding?
You seem fine and I hate you for it